1. Be calm.

2. Be assertive.

3. Be responsible.

4. Be fair.

5. Be true.

6. Be open.

7. Be trusting.

8. Be smart.

9. Be kind.

And most of all…

10. Be there.

Collecting your thoughts at the end of the day and writing them down helps you see clearly the clutter from the order. Your awareness is heightened by paying homage to your thoughts and feelings by writing them down.

Not the writing of the Reading-Writing-aRithmetic kind, the one required of us to learn when we were in school. But writing writing. The one that gives us the space to express, say what we want, send the message we want, greet, ask, request, command, direct, inform, and many more. All these can be seen in many forms–letters, memos, banners, posters, Facebook status, blogs, etc.

Letter-writing is the nearest to a life skill. Whether handwritten, emailed, or typed in Word and printed with desk jet, letters can provide us a first step toward problem-solving.

Here are some simple situations that make writing a life skill:

1.  Writing your landlord that you want to discontinue renting his apartment because security is an issue.

2. Writing to apply for a college scholarship, or to enroll to take up masters, or to apply for a job.

3.  Writing to ask for condonation of an interest on a loan.

4.  Writing to make amends with a friend who lives in a distant place.

5.  Writing a love letter.

Apart from bathing, writing should also be a life skill.

There is a great deal of life situations that need us to write. And that is probably the reason why we were taught composition in school–in Filipino or in English–in the first place. And that is probably the reason why not being able to write a decent paragraph when you are a high school or a college graduate is a dismay to the job interviewee or to a boss.

And why not? The person that you are can be seen from the words you put out, whether written or said.

Writing as a life skill does not mean one should become an expert at it but be able to do it like bathing or cooking or doing the laundry or managing money.

Writing is as essential as talking, the written word as important as the spoken word.

Writing as a step to solving a problem therefore is a life skill.

In the vernacular, he told me:

Umbrellas for school children of Masbate [Photo from allcoloringphotos.com

“Dapat may mga payong o kalo manla. Wara na gani siguro pamasahe, wara pan pandong. Hay buhay. Naluoy gayud ako kanina…” (“They should have umbrellas or hats at least. They don’t have money to pay for transport, and they don’t even have anything to cover their heads. I pity them.”)

Hence, once again, this note to you my friends—I am gathering umbrellas, or hats, or raincoats for the school children of my home province of Masbate.

With a little help from you, we’ll give them protection over their heads—rain or shine.

Your generosity will go along way.

Let me know. Thank you.

Somebody had a birthday bash last week. As far back as I can remember, I had been in a number of his celebrations, starting in the late 80s. As far back as I can remember, his home in Pag-asa was always the party venue. Until Conspiracy Garden Cafe in recent years.

Conspi, as we like to call it, was full house that night, the SRO courtesy of Noel Cabangon. As usual, Noel was in his generous element—always performing overtime, at an energy level that would challenge the music hall’s air conditioning.

That generosity extended till the late hours, until friends of the birthday man, the Conrad, demanded he should please the crowd with his own singing. And there he went, lent his voice to Noel, and the audience was indeed pleased. His was a perfect second voice to Noel. It was a Beatles song they did.

Conrad and Paul, just like old times.

And the crowd demanded that friends of the birthday man, or family, should follow suit. Until it came to pointing a finger at the brother, Paul. And the brother went, took over the guitar, and played and sang.  Those who knew the birthday man too well clamored without let up that he join his brother on stage. And he did, without delay. And the audience had a blast.  As for me, I had a trip down memory lane, back into the early 80s.

Flashback.  You see, I “grew” up listening to these brothers, including Emil, [as I met him much much later], belt out harmonies in some of those evenings when they would probably get together in that house in Marikina. I would overhear their singing, as I lived just two houses away from that house. I would be so intrigued by the blending they did of those Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel songs, asking myself who on earth were singing these tunes? They sounded really good.

And I would be joined by my cousins, sitting still on the pavement, and making sure we were silent enough to let their sound travel without interference past two houses and reach us audibly. It was always a treat catching them blend out those folk songs. Unconsciously, we would wish that they had gotten together more often so we could enjoy ourselves in a “free” concert.

That night at Conspi was a reminder of my youth. Little did I know that I would officially meet the DQs.

It is an honor, Emil, Conrad, and Paul.

I believe the journal, the product of one’s journaling, is not an end that results in these effects; rather, it is process that liberates one from the leash of the past, that allows one to enjoy the now, and in so doing, charts a course that is life-changing.

"I often suggest to beginning journal keepers, "Let a journal find you." — G. Lynn Nelson, Writing and Being

I am a journaling newbie. I thought to do it one day, after feeling I should do so. I found a simple yellow ruled notebook, no-glare off-white pages, and Smyth-sewn which I thought would render a nice feeling to the writing.

After a few pages of Writing and Being, which I bought when I was about a few weeks into my journal, I found out it was to be my first step, find a journal, or what Mr. Nelson says, “Let a journal find you.” And I did—it was very affordable, far from the price of a Moleskin, but comparable in quality and look.

I learned that journaling is not the same as keeping a diary. [I will let Mr. Nelson tell you the difference. It's a long story.] One thing I learned is that journaling is much more than listing down your activities and telling what happened. Journaling is far deeper than that, he says.

I thought to share with you some lines from my young journal of 27 days.

1. What a day experiencing the fruits of hard-earned college diploma, the joy of extreme friendships, and the blessings of family.
2. I realized writing is not an easy thing to do, as I imagine and always say it is.
3. I remember my boo boo, not having taken a picture with her before she passed on.
4. What happened today?
5. Just a quiet walk with a loved one is a blessing.
6. It is not good to preempt stress.
7. My journal writing is my meditation.
8. My frustration just went out the window.
9. I am amazed by the sight of us all, together, and being and doing something together.
10. A relaxing day today; but I don’t remember the feelings.

Journaling makes me visit myself, or revisit, if you will. For me, it’s good for the soul.

When I look back at my younger days in Masbate, there is only gladness in my heart now. I couldn’t have lived through life away from my parents beginning at the tender age of 13 had it not for years of learning, albeit resenting at times, all the things they taught me then.

I remember the words of my father who would admonish all girls in the family, telling us that our place inside the house was at the kitchen; that we should not be wasting time doing useless things and instead be present there where cooking was happening. “Girls should learn how to cook,” he would lecture, “what would you feed your husbands?” Whoa, that was scary—I didn’t know any better then. Who would? I was barely in my teens. Was that about “the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?”

Next was the laundry, and ironing, and going to the market, and lighting the Petromax, and cracking the coconut including grating the meat. It wasn’t long enough when we were taught husking it, too. The bolo was too heavy for us, I thought. But, there was not escaping the ire of parents who were only concerned with teaching us life skills.

I knew then that starching clothes, especially those worn for work, including my school uniform, was a must. The starch had to be cooked in water, and let cool before dipping the clothes. And sprinkling dry and starched clothes with a little bit of water and rolling them to soak for a while before ironing. I remember that I had fun looking at the creases disappear when the hot iron touched them. I now understand why ironing clothes is one of my favorite chores, minus the starching, because starch today comes in spray cans.

Pablo and Monina are great teachers. I wouldn't have learned all the things I know today had it not for their patience to teach me, and my siblings.

In the market, telling fish from one another was such a challenge. But, we had to learn that, too. One kind was good for grilling; others were best for frying, or sweet and sour, or paksiw. The eyes had to be bright, the meat firm, and the stomach intact—these reminders would ring in my ear as I navigated through the fish stalls in the public market. Imagine what needed to be learned when it was shrimps, or crabs, or squid that I was asked to buy. Getting fresh meat was the easiest for me, because I thought that they were slaughtered in the morning and should stay fresh. I never saw any frozen things in the town market. And plastic bags. The bayong was our only way to carry our purchases.

When did I start learning all of these, and many other “skills” like how it is called today? I remember cooking my first boiled rice at age nine or ten. Pardon, but there was no electric rice cooker then. Your middle finger was your only measuring device to make sure the water was just enough so the rice would not turn out undercooked or overcooked. Otherwise, the entire meal is ruined, even if you had the best ulam.

I thought I had paid forward my parents’ sacrifices and persistence and determination to teach me all the life skills I have used since I left home to pursue my studies. I have five children of my own, all adults now, and I should say I am fairly successful at continuing the tradition my parents had set out for me and my siblings. We have no household help, and five children are an entire crew to be able to live without it.

My first granddaughter, insisting that she joins in washing the clothes. Too early? Not quite.

Life skills are not to be undermined. They are one of the best things we can hand down to our children, much more important than jewelry or property or money.

When do you teach them life skills?

It's cool to wear this anywhere

I met some of the staunch advocates of anti-smoking, and tobacco control. I feel fortunate to have listened to the kind of work they do—not easy, at times frustrating, nonetheless rewarding. My work is nothing compared to what their work results in. Theirs is so strong a conviction to help save the lives of many of smoking Filipinos, 17.3 million of them .

After learning about the hard work the FCAP (Framework Convention on Tobacco Control Alliance-Philippines) does in this country, I couldn’t help but look at some of the numbers released by the Results of the 2009 Global Adult Tobacco Survey (GATS) for the Philippines.

1.  Filipino adults smoke even if almost every one in the population is aware of the ill-effects of puffing a cigarette.

2.   13.8 million adult Filipinos, smoke daily, each one consuming an average of 10.6 cigarettes, spending around 326.40 pesos ($7.16) every month for it.

3.  Men, at 47.7% or approximately 14.6 million, outnumbered women, at 9% or approximately 2.8 million, in smoking tobacco.

There is some good news here—more than half of the smokers (60.6 %) have also stated their interest in quitting. Well, that’s a relief. I understand a Smoking Cessation Program should be in place to help these almost-quitters.

Smoking is an addiction, we already know that. If we can help drug dependents be drug-free through drug rehabilitation programs, there is no reason smoking cessation clinics can’t help smokers.

Let them be like any other clinics where walk-ins are welcome.

Kristina Cassandra, or KC, is 10 months old. She could be one of 15,000 children afflicted with this rare, congenital condition called biliary atresia. In the Philippines, according to Lift-B.A.B.I.E.S. Foundation Inc, this ratio translates to around 200 biliary atresia babies being born every year.

Except for the bloated abdomen and yellow color to the skin and to the whites of the eyes, KC is a bubbly baby.

I took the liberty of talking to her parents, Pam and Aljay Reintegrado, the former being a bartender-friend in a bar that soon-to-be-middle-aged people like me go for a night of folk music.

Months ago, he told me about a two-year deadline for a liver transplantation for his first-born. “The difficulty is in finding the liver donor; and then the millions of pesos needed for the surgery,” I remember Aljay telling me amidst a Paul Simon cover being crooned by a local artist.  The operation costs a high of P5 million and a low of P3 million, as quoted by a Chang Gung Memorial Hospital in Taiwan, he told me.

Biliary atresia is a serious disease that affects newborn infants.  It is rare, and is more common in girls than in boys. Its cause is not known. Treatments are partially successful. It is the most common reason for liver transplantation in children, especially in the United States and most of the Western countries.

In between feedings of teaspoonfuls of Vietnamese noodle soup, KC shows off her dimples in a smile for my phone camera. “I let her try whatever I can, especially those that I eat,” says her mother Pam, a high school graduate who has devoted all her time mothering KC. Aljay says her wife has not taken on a job so she can look after KC who was diagnosed with the disease when she was barely three months old.

An attempt to do a Kasai Procedure (hepato-portoenterostomy) on KC turned out just to be an open-close procedure since the doctors found the liver damage to be significant. A liver transplantation is her only hope, and her parents’, too.

In the Kasai procedure, the bile ducts are removed and a loop of intestine is brought up to replace the bile ducts and drain the liver. As a result, bile flows from the small bile ducts straight into the intestine, bypassing the need for the larger bile ducts completely. The Kasai procedure was named after the Japanese surgeon, Professor Morio Kasai who developed this operation in 1959.

“She is irritable and has crying spells,” Pam says of KC who otherwise has a healthy appetite consuming 10 8-oz bottles of milk every day. In between feedings, she has helpings of her favorite Choco Tops and Stick-O. “She likes to eat and would almost take anything I feed her,” her mother quips.

KC’s parents spend about P2,500.00 per month for the baby’s maintenance medicines, until she gets the operation. On top of that, KC gets a transfusion of albumin once every two to three months, costing them about P4,000.00 each time. “We raise money to help fund KC’s requirements,” Aljay says.

Sadly, Aljay is a minimum wage earner, grossing less than P380 a day. Pam does not earn as she attends to KC full time.  They only have enough for the family’s daily sustenance. KC’s monthly needs, apart from the regular albumin transfusion, is a struggle. “Through the help of friends and family, we are able to get by,” Pam says. “We sometimes lose hope, but on the other hand, we can’t. We continue to do what we can for KC.”

A liver donor, P5 million pesos, in 14 months—Pam and Aljay and KC need all the help they can get.

———-

Deedee writes this to help spread KC’s call for help. Deedee frequents My Bro’s Mustache in Quezon City and met Aljay there about seven years ago. She is now on a personal mission to help the family any way she can.

Help Aljay, Pam and daughter KC—if not as a liver donor or fund the P5 million requirement for liver transplantation—make both ends meet every month by pledging for a future cash gift or depositing directly to KC’s cash card account with Banco de Oro #5267 2700 0616 5498. Thank you.

It would be good if I can cook for families who are hard of good food. There are just so many ways by which a household can cook up something delicious and nutritious without spending so much.

Here’s a sampling: Spinach Garlic Stir Fry

You will need two bags or bundles of native spinach, one whole head of garlic, cooking oil, sesame seeds, peppermill or ground fresh black pepper.

Procedure:

1.  Blanch the spinach. Squeeze excess water. Set aside.

2. Saute garlic in oil till transparent. Pour in spinach. Cook for two minutes.

3. Season with salt and peppermill.

4.  Sprinkle sesame seeds.

5.  Serve hot.

Well, finally those shoes were put to good use during the Children’s Month, where the boys got to join the Futbol Fiesta that October, competing in dribbling, slalom, target shooting, accuracy pass, and juggling. The shoes were prizes given away!

A piece of heartwarming news–one of the Masbate football players in the “Homeless World Cup/ Homeless Football Festival” they participated in April last year which was held in La Salle, Greenhills was chosen to be the captain of Team Philippines that participated in Italy last September. Truth is, he played for Nayon ng Kabataan in La Salle; he is studying in Rizal Technological University in Mandaluyong.  He is one of the Masbate 80+ football scholars playing for the different schools and universities in Metro Manila. Masbate football scholars have graduated from  La Salles, FEU, UST, UE, MAPUA, PCU, and ST. BENILDE.

One of the forerunners of Masbate football told me that he saw that football can put a child through college. He said 10 out of 15 of the team members do not usually proceed to college because of financial difficulties. But with football, they are able to try it out in the varsity team and most of them, if not all, are accepted, he said.

“Coaches want our players kasi parang mga kalabaw daw sa stamina,” he told me.  Malaki talaga tulong ng football sa mga bata namin that’s why I’m always looking for opportunities to entice young children to play football.”

Next time you think about throwing those rubber shoes away, think again. A Masbateno boy will have use for them.